Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

I really love this song from RENT. It's simple yet poignant. It's straightforward and true. I never took the time to think about what this particular song means to me until now... only because I feel compelled to share the events of today that are slowly dissipating from my mind.

I woke up feeling a bit anxious because I needed to go to LJ and get my transcript for EMC. When I finally have, I was relieved to see my increased grade point average. It was definitely better than what I had expected. Although it wasn't much of a progress since the last time I checked it with my counselor, the fact that I did better than the last time elated me so much that I immediately exited the building.

I showed it to my mum who was waiting in the car along with my younger brother. And she squealed in delight. It wasn't long enough until we were calculating for the percentile my gpa belonged. Top 10%. And it was actually hovering just .1 above 9. I couldn't believe it. My mum had to literally convince me that I was seeing what I was seeing.

I just really want to praise God for giving me more than what I had asked for. Ever since my counselor told me about the scholarship for EMC, if I reached top 15%, I had honestly been only praying for the break-through opportunity to reach the top 15% spot. Fifteen percent. All the time. It never occured to me to ask Him to give me more, IF HE COULD. And do you realize how arrogant of me that was? Questioning His capability? Yet, He gave more than what I had asked for. It's truly humbling.

And then strings of conversations in the car and at Sam's Club over some cheap overcooked pizza combo; the list isn't in any particular order:

• five kids... A LOT.
• minority...discrimination...healthcare.
• LIFE is all about who you know.
• taking risks is sometimes better and beneficial than what we are accustomed to.
• organized and functional VS chaotic and dysfunctional.
• God's help.
• independent vs dependent.
• being proud of Daddy.

And a whole lot more that I couldn't remember at the moment...

So back to the song. For me, it reminds me that our choices today will affect who we become tomorrow. It reminds me that life is what it is in the present, and there's no point in looking back at the past--wishing that things would go back to how it used to be--because of one simple fact: today. And though time is ever moving forward at its steady pace, we only have the situations we're in today to live through. In a foolish effort to compete with time, dreaming constantly of the future, we remain the losing side. We are chained to today.

So don't fight the negative circumstances as much. Embrace every positive thing in your life with every fiber of gratitude in your being. Celebrate them both...

... because at the end of today, we learn from it. We understand it. We accept it. We move forward with time.